Sunday, August 5, 2012

homestretch

Oh hey, blog.  How's it going?  The summer is nearly over and though I've often thought of things to share here, I haven't found the time.  It's hard to understand where exactly the time went this summer.  I feel like all we did was get ready for this move.  I know it's a lot of work to do that, but in the past we've done it so much more quickly.  It's never taken us 3 months to get ready for a move before, because we've never known that far in advance that we were moving.  I guess it's like a house.....  however large your house is, that is the amount of space you will fill with stuff that you accumulate.  Similarly, whatever amount of time you have to prepare for a move, that is the amount you will fill with tasks related to moving.  It's just been packing and selling and cleaning and showings and painting and purging and packing.  Now we are in the homestretch, only 5 days until we drive up to our new residence. 

This summer has been kind of a rough one.  For me it has been full of anxiety, stress, and guilt.  Only now that we are getting this close to actually moving am I able to feel some excitement as well.  Anxiety and stress obviously were swirling around all the things we had to get done before moving, and the pressure of needing our house to sell quickly.  Guilt because of how I dealt with that stress and anxiety.  To sum up, not so well.  I have been impatient with the kids, even more so than usual, if you can believe that, and I have been picking fights with Nate at every turn.  I have been so focused on the giant project of moving that I haven't been taking great care of myself.  And when I don't take care of myself I don't take very good care of my family.  I feel like our family connections right now are tenuous at best.  I'm not proud of how I've behaved this summer but I am trying to give myself a little leeway since moving is known to be one of the most psychologically taxing things people experience.  They've studied it and stuff.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Saturday and getting to our new apartment.  I know that there will be stress on the other side of this move too.  Unpacking is always a huge hassle and I hate being disorganized and rifling through 15 boxes before finding that one tiny item I need.  But I'm ready to be in our own space again, and to establish our own routines again, and to just connect again.  We'll be doing all that in a new place, and I hope we'll have fun exploring it together.

This week will be about tying up loose ends.  Shipping out the last of my onesie orders before I put the shop in vacation mode.  Canceling my gym membership.  Packing up the last few boxes.  It will also hopefully be about spending some quality time with family before we leave.  Both of our families have been so great this summer.  There is no way to quantify how much help they have freely given.  They have spent countless hours of their time helping with everything from getting the house ready to sell, to packing tons of boxes, to running a moving sale during 100 degree heat, to watching the boys so I could work.  And more.  I hope I can find a way to thank them, and I hope they'll eventually forgive us for moving away. 


We did get to spend one weekend in Chicago visiting friends recently.  It was a wonderful break from all the work and to-do lists that filled the rest of the summer.  We went to the beach, which is always fun.  And we spent many hours happily hanging out with friends.  I can't even say how much I'm looking forward to doing more of that after we move.

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