Friday, June 8, 2012

my own little Calvin

We introduced the boys to Calvin and Hobbes sometime last year.  They were both fans almost immediately, but T in particular has taken a shine to the series.  I really feel that Calvin could have been based on T or a boy much like him.  They share a certain spunk and imagination.  Sometimes I worry about him reading the beloved comic....  Calvin's shenanigans are a bit more high-level than T's at this point, and I don't want him getting any ideas.  So far he hasn't tried to copy anything other than Calvin's attitude.

T has always been on the obstinate side... always a little difficult to reign in.  The last couple of weeks, though, he has really been giving me a run for my money.  I used to be able to say, "T
, you need to do {this thing that I'm asking you to do}, or I'll have to take away some screen time."  And it would work.  Lately he doesn't care.  He'll look right into my eyes and say NO.  No to whatever I'm asking.  No to putting away laundry, no to washing his hands before dinner, no to going to bed when I say it's time.  I don't know if it's the move, or his age, or the transition to summer, or a little bit of everything.  But his defiance is becoming a bit of a problem.  I'm not sure what to do when he flat out refuses to cooperate with me.  I will admit, often he pushes me to my limits, and I lose my temper.  He and I share that trait, a short temper.  I'm also probably on the stubborn side myself.  Perhaps it's no wonder that we don't see eye to eye on what he should be doing at any particular moment.

I might need to implement some kind of system for helping him change his behavior.  I don't feel like I have the time or brain power to start a new system right now, but perhaps I need to make it a priority.  I thought maybe a chart like this would help.  They use this type at school, so he would be familiar with it.  I'm also trying to absolutely smother him with love, when I can.  I am trying to keep this podcast in mind when I'm dealing with him.  I've been spending a lot of time on the Power of Moms website in general, trying to cull ideas and garner encouragement.  Wish I had found it long ago.  Anyway, it seems to help if I can give a hug or a tickle when he's being naughty, instead of coming down hard on him.  It's kind of like re-directing a toddler.  He's feeling mad or like he needs attention or whatever he's feeling..... if I can come in with an unexpected outpouring of love, it can help to redirect his attitude.  But I don't always handle it like that.  Sometimes I lose my s*** and scream at him and then we both end up feeling miserable.  I'm working on it. 

His birthday is in a couple of weeks, coming up much too fast.  We are having a Calvin and Hobbes themed party.  I wish I had more time to plan and create for this party, because it's such a great theme and I think it could be fabulous.  With everything going on in our lives, though, I think it will end up being pretty simple.  That's okay.  I just want him to have fun and feel loved.

Red shirts with black stripes don't seem to be available in stores right now.  So I made one.  I picked up some black shorts.  He has red Chuck Taylor's to wear, and we'll attempt to spike up his hair like Calvin's for the party.  Here he is trying on his shirt and shorts.  My little Calvin.

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