Sunday, September 13, 2009

sick flowers.

I'm sitting here with my water, my orange juice, and my box of tissues as Nate plays a final round of tag with the boys before bedtime. He's been trying to entertain them all day, as I am sick, still sick after 9 days of sick, first a heinous sore throat and now a heinous cold. It's hard to be a sick parent. It's also hard to be the well parent who has to take on added responsibilities while your beloved partner wallows in her misery. This weekend had some hard moments, but honestly, I often find weekends hard, even when I'm fit as a fiddle. Are weekends hard for any other parents out there? They can be great, of course. But I find that often Nate and I feel pressured to accomplish various tasks and projects during this "free" time. And then, as if they sense that we are distracted by our own goals, the boys up their demands for attention. We start to fall into roles of Irritating Kids and Irritated Parents. It can get a little ugly, and it's disheartening for me, as I have this askew notion in my head of weekends being an oasis of peace and tranquility. Not always so. When boredom and stir-craziness descend upon our house on a lazy Saturday afternoon, I often find myself wanting to be rescued from my own children, and then feeling bad for wanting to escape.
Anyway, this afternoon I sent all three boys on an errand to Wal-Mart so that I could have a little time to rest in a quiet house. I laid on the couch, feeling discouraged and watching Supernanny, fantasizing about her coming to our house and making me the perfect mom who doesn't get all mopey when the weekend isn't relaxing enough. The boys came home and the mood had shifted into Ultimate Happy Family. S came downstairs and presented me with flowers they had purchased for me, a hug, and, "I hope you feel better soon, Mom." Made me cry, though I think I hid it from him. They told me all about the successful trip they had had to the store. The boys were good helpers. S scoped out possible toys to purchase with his allowance, but decided to save up for something better. Both he and Nate were feeling proud of his decision.
While Nate made mac n' cheese for dinner, T sat quietly at the counter (!) and S cut out little decorations for the flower vase. Hearts, stars, I Love You Mom, and a little super mom crest (star with M inside).
I'm guilty of wishing our parenting road was always smooth, and of getting frustrated when it's not. Those harder spots sure make me appreciate the moments of outrageous love and sweetness, though. I guess that's as it should be.
I'm really really hoping to feel better soon. I'm ready to work out again, and to tidy the house again, and to breathe through my nose again. Cross your fingers for me.

_______We had a great time in Chicago last weekend, even though I was sick then too. Be sure to check my flickr page for pictures.


Linda Sliger said...

A beautiful bouquet and loving messages from your three great guys - What a wonderful blessing! These thoughts of love sent your way
will increase your strength everyday.

love you, mom

Angela said...

This post made me smile. Word, sister.