Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I wanted to thank you all for reading this post and for your extremely thoughtful comments. Since writing it, things have been much better. I'm not just saying that. I don't fully understand why, but airing all that dirty laundry appears to have been very helpful. Things are not perfect. I'm still hating winter and fighting to parent the way I intend to, but my patience in the last week has really been bolstered. The yelling has gone down significantly. I don't know... it was such a release to put it out there. Even though I felt so vulnerable and ashamed to share it, keeping it all locked in my chest was too exhausting. Being honest freed up some energy, I think, to actually try to do better.

When Nate read the post, he asked if I thought I might have SAD and if we should move somewhere warmer. I thought his question was really sweet and appreciated his willingness to relocate in an effort to help me. Wow, the thought of living somewhere warmer is certainly appealing. However, the thought of moving AGAIN makes me want to apply for a job at Baskin Robbins and eat as much ice cream as I possibly can before getting fired. Either that, or walk in front of a semi traveling at interstate speeds. One or the other. No, we're not going to move. We're going to face many, many more Illinois winters together as a family. And I love my family. So I just have to keep putting one cold foot in front of the other, try to do my best each day, try to keep it all in perspective and push through until a warm spring day saves me from myself.

Moving on...Wasn't yesterday incredible? I still have goosebumps. Here I am with the boys, enjoying some inaugural ice cream. Finding happiness yesterday was no trouble at all. No trouble at all.

Finally, I've gone and joined Facebook. If we haven't found each other already, look me up (you do know my name, don't you?), if that's your thing. It seems to be a lot of people's thing.
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3 comments:

Kelly Annabella said...

you are one pretty girl, and you're raising some pretty awesome boys.

sarah hedman said...

oh good, i'm so glad, Laura. We all have been there and we all make it back out with a little help from our friends. and you're right - i think being honest reallly really helps diffuse some of the intensity of the emotions. at least it does for me. love you lots!!
sarah

Celeste said...

Hey Laura.I happened to catch up on your blog just right before I received your cook book. I'd really like to talk to you but I feel like I'm interfering with family time if I call. I too have a whole lot of trouble with winter, just with myself as a dependent. It would be lovely to talk to you. I'll tell you about my self help slogan I created just for winter. My email is celesteneuhaus@gmail.com if that is easier for you. Thanks for the cook book and I totally understand your struggle and I don't even have children.